2011 ...

2011

Happy New Year! Yes, we've heard all the predictions, we knowit's going to be a tough one. But, still, isn't it just great to bealive? Bring it on!

blondes

Not only do they have more fun and are preferred by gentlemen,blondes -- natural and bleached -- earn Pounds 600 a year more thantheir brunette and redhead sisters, says a poll. Oh, and they getbetter degrees, too.

Not so ditzy after all. Now where's that bottle ... ?

nick park

The man behind Wallace and Gromit has denied promoting hisfriend's son on Desert Island Discs. He chose Joe Rose's Plain Songand now Joe's iTune and internet hits have rocketed.

But, ever the gentleman, while Park admitted Joe's parents werepals, he denied he'd named the song as a favour, insisting he simplyliked the tune: "Even Kirsty Young said she thought the song shouldbe the Christmas No 1 when she heard Plain Song."

Good on you, Nick. It's a nice change from celebs at pains todemonstrate their impeccable good taste: "Yes, Kirsty, I can't bearto parted from my Bach CDs ..."scientists

Apparently the men in white coats are developing microchips 20times faster than the ones we currently have. Which means that wecan work even faster at our terminals. Thanks boffins ...

edgy comedy

Christmas and New Year telly, and what did we get? Top Gearinfuriating Muslim viewers by wearing burkas to laddish guffaws.Matt Lucas and David Walliams earning ire for their portrayal ofethnic comedy characters, with some comparing it to the Black &White Minstrel Show. And, of course, Frankie Boyle annoying the hellout of just about everybody ...

It's a long way from Eric and Ernie preparing breakfast ... Nottoo many complaints there.

american cultural imperialism

Lordy, that's a big one. The latest manifestation of the US of Aruling the roost is Mickey Rourke. Fresh from a career rebirth inThe Wrestler, he confirmed he's to star in a biopic of GarethThomas, the Welsh rugby star who stunned the macho world of the gameby admitting that he's gay.

Mmm ... Americans and rugby. Doesn't sound like a natural mix tome: "Well, Don, the clock's ticking down in the fourth quarter andthe Welsh Wizzards are getting whupped by the Scottish Stringrays inthe Rugby Superbowl ... er, the whole nine yards ... all the basesare loaded ... er ... remind me, why can't they pass the ballforward?"